Support Group (Rant in E minor): I'm struggling right now with whether to continue going to the support group I attend every two weeks. Despite it's small size (anywhere from three to six people), I've found the experience largely helpful and have met at least a couple of people that I really like. However...

I should first say that it's no exaggeration that most of the wide array of the different personalities I've met during the last few months of treatment have been good-to-great. There are truly some supportive, helpful, positive people yet on this crazy, mixed-up planet. Yet now, I'm finding myself challenged by a particular attendee of the group. I can't go into heavy details but I will say that the stream of negativity and self-pity did bother me enough to keep me up for a few hours last night. Which, of course, leads me to being angry at myself for letting someone else irritate me so much.

In a post on this blog late last year, I talked about the meetings being far from "mope sessions"; really, can you imagine anything more boring or just completely freaking gauche than talking/fixating about your illness constantly? Of course, we do trade experiences and the like, but more often than not talk about things completely unrelated to cancer or chemotherapy or other health matters. It'd be intolerable for me (and likely most everyone else) otherwise. Wheel my whining, complaining, surly and useless ass up to the Curmudgeon's Wing of the local nursing home, Mabel, if I ever come within a nostril hair's width of becoming this sort of crass person.

I'm not denying that I don't have my bad days; I'm not a complete Pollyanna (nor have I ever been). But having that sort of outlook, especially when people have tried to help..."defeatist" and "alienating" are terms that come to mind. You've likely heard the term, "psychic vampire", and I'm only slightly hesitant to use it in this case.

I might be getting close to a true junk-punching moment...either that, or ditching the group, at least for a while.

Point of this post? Some self-therapy through release of emotional steam, mostly. Apologies, but it did help me to dispel some bad feelings typing this out (many curse words/terms were spilled and removed, believe me...also a huge help).

Of to a sheet music/record sell-off at the U. of O. tomorrow...I do intend to get out for some exercise closer to the weekend, so maybe I'll try for some outside photos then.